Impressed upon me is the pondering of plans. I make plans. And then the plan fails to work. Which makes me wonder: what am I supposed to be doing right now? [is it my move to make?]
My words have been backed up lately; I seem to have forgotten how to form a sentence. I want to talk about this shalom I was given, but no words are sufficient. [is this just an excuse?]
I lost someone recently. He was a source of comfort, someone with whom I talked freely. I miss him, but things like this happen and one must move forward. [am i too stoic?]
Sprinkled amidst this ambiguous time have been several conversations with women whom I deeply respect. I wonder, what sort of woman am I? [what sort of woman am i supposed to be?]
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I am standing in front of you
transparent as glass.
I ask you: look at me
And I'll look back.
Look at my heart:
Its beating, beating fast.
I need you to know
that what I carried,
I carry no more.
But I've taken on another burden.
Its a weight of humility and shame.
(I'm asking my forgiveness.)
This isn't done. But I don't know how to finish it. So this is it for now.
2 comments:
oh friend... I am sorry for your hurt. I
SADNESS
Still I ask you to come to me
Always breathing with heart on sleeve
Do what you must to deal with grief
Never forget I'll give you earth
Every honest green among blues
Sudden yet staying, give up fear
Sadness is temporary friend
Dustin
Grace, you know that you can always talk to me about anything. I may not have the answer, but I've always got an ear and I'm always praying for you.
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